Thursday, October 1, 2015

'I can't start a blog because I have acne'... and other delusional thoughts

Wow. The house is empty, it's quiet, and I've found myself suddenly... excuse-less.

I'm finding life to be very hectic at the moment. The weeks since our holiday have whizzed by, and here I am almost 3 months later, returning to blogging.

I have a list of different things I want to write about. I have so many interests, so many things I want to try, and constantly have thoughts about different blogging topics. But I'm not blogging.

I procrastinate. I find other things to do. I overconsume - with food, social media.. and then I stop in my tracks. Perhaps my most ridiculous overconsumption is immersing myself in too many self help and spiritual books, podcasts and YouTube videos. My overconsumption of personal development is preventing me from, well, personally developing. The self sabotage... the fear-based mindset. I fill up my spare time with all these things, often productive things, but then get too overwhelmed. I never get my bloody ass on that desk chair, never let my fingers run across that keyboard.

Aside from the overconsumption distraction, my ego also tells me ridiculous delusions that set up more roadblocks.

Some of these delusions include -

- 'I can't start a blog because I have acne' - in this world of social media and online personalities, we have an unrealistic expectation to be perfect. Well, I'm not perfect. Also, the obvious point - in what way could the state of my skin possibly influence my content? Who. Bloody. Cares. What's a spot on a chin between friends, hey?

- 'I don't have enough time' - the biggest joke of all, considering I seem to find and hour or two to waste on Instagram each day. Gulp.

- 'I'm no good at writing' - I've always loved to write, but sometimes that ego sneaks in and brings in doubt. But at this stage, I'm really not writing to anyone but myself. I'm also not writing for anyone but myself.

- 'I'm not doing things perfectly yet' - I never will. And I never really want to - bring on the sleep ins and cuddles that may disrupt any sort of 'morning routine' that I think I 'should' cultivate. I let go of the guilt and the 'shoulds'. While I embrace and thrive on looking after myself, I leave room for flexibility. I choose happy, giggly, quality time with my loved ones above it all. My only job is to feel good!

So here I am! Typing away. Not claiming to be perfect in any way. Just being here. Returning to loving thoughts, returning to presence, and just playing with it as I go.

Are you ready to observe the road blocks in your life? Are you ready to let go of your delusions? I am.

Until next time, loves. x

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