Pre-clarity

In this time, I'm again finding myself feeling a little foggy, a little lost, a little scared.

The desire and dreams to want to make changes, combined with that fear-based mindset that says - I'm too old, it's too late, it's a waste of time.

I've been a bit wonky with my self care. My eating has lost it's healthy-morals. I'm not meditating, doing yoga or exercising on any sort of regular basis. I feel sporadic. Confused. Sometimes angry; spiteful. A bit negative.

I've been whinging a lot at work. I'm told to remove toxic people from my life, but that isn't always possible in a working environment. I stood alone in the tea room a few days ago, looking around at the empty space. These four walls that once symbolised new beginnings, belonging and comfort. My energy towards this workplace has altered. 'I'm done,' I whispered to myself; to the Universe. 'I'm done.'

It seems that once again, a holiday has arrived at a time of significant change, mindset shifts, redirection. Despite my fogginess and this pestering negativity, I know that this time away will serve me to recharge again, gain some perspective and return with clarity.

I can't go back and change things. I'm not even certain if I would if given the chance. I can only do what I can, in this given moment, and watch what unfolds next.

25 days.